e-mail:greenpaddocks@gmail.com
*Miketroiano's Bjork Links*
Bjork Godmundsdottir International Japanese Tennis PlayerA Documentary by J.R.Atwood
e-mail:greenpaddocks@gmail.com |
BJORK (V.O): Before I play for a match I like to watch Australian cartoons. There are stories about kangaroos and wombats and the such. The little kangaroos often box the little wombat women. But watch out! Here comes the eucalyptus-munching koala, who has mistaken you for a gum tree! And he sits in you and eats you all up.
Picture of her watching a cartoon koala monster on television.
I get very excited playing tennis and come out attacking the ball with my racquet. Smash. Smash. Smash. It may turn nasty at any time. For who knows? Both of us are really scared as we keep it away. Whack! Smash! Skippy to where the little angels will pick it up. Don't let it grow I think.
On tour I like to make snow people. This means that many grand slam events are missed in the countries having summer. Summer events are good. I can go shopping and buy various stuffed animals. Sometimes I can go to an event to win a car.
There are pictures of Bjork winning the Bolivian Open. Bjork is then seen driving through the mountain jungles of Bolivia in an older style Volkswagon.
In the jungles I can pick many bananas fresh and play with my boy Harry. Bananas are good for energy and energy is good for the playing of tennis. My son Harry likes to go to the little games in Miami because all the players beat me in the first round and we can see the alligators and play in the sand.
Picture of the two throwing tennis balls to alligators.
But the snow beckons and my training partner OHIKOOSHI comes to my house to prepare for our Japanese tennis team. First we have a cup of tea. Not always black tea. Sometimes hibiscus and lemon rind.. After tea it takes time to build a net, but sometimes we use electrical tools and the ice shards fly everywhere.
Electric ice-grinding tools in action trying to make an "ice net".
But my house is in Iceland and the ice is particularly blue and unflexible and we never make it into the Japanese tennis team.
Picture of Bjork looking at blue ice in a kimono.
So we have more time to pretend to be koalas walking the streets of Tokyo looking for Geisha bath houses.
Pictures of Bjork flying into Sydney airport and waving to the camera as a custom official, dressed in shorts, pulls out various cactus plants from her luggage. Ohikooshi staggers along with a huge suit case and wearing a small bikini, smoking a hand-rolled cigarette.
Another shot of Ohikooshi rolling another cigarette and raising her middle finger to the camera saying something in Japanese. Next shot is of the two getting into an older model Volkswagon with luggage and driving off. The airport is then seen blowing up in a horrific explosion. As the two drive along the freeway smouldering stuffed koalas and kangaroos rain down from the sky.
The Australian tennis game is wery fabulous. We come early and have Christmas in the summer. There we can play smaller matches and in between matches and strenuous exercise we pretend to be Santa Claus at the local supermarket and take the orders from the children. koalas, koalas, koalas is what I want for Christmas. This is the good opportunity to make the special bond with my doubles partner, Ohikooshi. She enjoys children.
Ohikooshi is seen at the foot of Santa Claus (Bjork) wearing a red bikini with tinsel under the cups and a Santa's helper hat. She smiles and waves at the camera whilst she licks the paper for her hand-rolled cigarette.
Knitting is also good, you can knit socks, sweaters, jumpers and pull-overs for two people to fit into.
Picture of a man and woman in a single over-sized jumper playing mixed doubles as Bjork sits waving in the grand stand knitting. Autumn leaves blow over the court and it begins to rain. The mixed doubles pair run off court, into an old abandoned shack at the side of the court which shakes with the wind and the beating rain.
And at night we sing karaoke…
Bjork and Ohikooshi are singing to a tune and read the words appearing on the Karaoke screen (It's Oh So Quite). They are laughing and smiling and the saki is flowing...
The end.
Bjork does not endorse this story (but NASA does*), and if she did, no one would understand it anyway.
e-mail:greenpaddocks@gmail.com
|